MONDAY:At the present time Theresa Might perhaps perhaps also came around. Mentioned she wanted a alternate deal to cement her legacy before she quits as prime minister in a few weeks. I told her Britain would have to derive our food requirements, and gave her chlorinated chicken to prove her how scrumptious our veteran American chow is. I heart of attention on she most in model it, and he or she has good manners: when she clears her throat, she lifts her napkin as much as her mouth and coughs straight into it. She appeared unhappy so I gave her a pair glasses of bourbon, that would possibly perhaps perhaps moreover unbiased were a mistake: she put on “I would possibly continue to exist” and began dancing with out a doubt one of many security guys before collapsing true into a tearful heap. Mrs Johnson put her to mattress in a spare room.
Tuesday: At the present time Boris Johnson came around. Decide up in strategies him? The fellow with routine blond hair who just is not reasonable…by no manner strategies. Looks he’s taking on from Theresa. You don’t have to assemble elected by the of us to be accountable here, correct by the Conservative Occasion. That’s 160,000 damaged-down factual-waft men. Attention-grabbing map. That you can moreover unbiased wish to observe into it.
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I told Johnson that I was struggling to assemble my head around his position on whether or now not Britain used to be going to go the European Union with or with out a deal. He muttered something about “having your cake and eating it”, so I ordered tea and crumpets, because the Inform Division’s British etiquette instruction manual recommends. He polished them off, announcing he hadn’t had a square meal in weeks, and asked if I had a spare room. It sounds as if he’s had girl grief, so I’ve put him up for a few days. I figured you’d sympathise.
Wednesday: At the present time Tag Carney, the Canadian man on the Monetary institution of England, came around. I didn’t observe every nuance of his diagnosis of the commercial penalties of a no-deal Brexit, however it no doubt interesting four horsemen and a monumental selection of plagues. He is a gargantuan fan of yours, sir, and talked about something about guaranteeing the contemporary growth used to be now not dropped at an overhasty close by injudicious monetary tightening. He moreover talked about that he’s desirous to circulation to a brand contemporary job in Washington and puzzled whenever you happen to would be ready to position in a correct notice. I ordered some tea and crumpets, however he didn’t touch them. I bet he’s too microscopic to determine on any extra weight. He’s create of inserting around wanting hopeful, so I’ve put him in the ready room where I abet damaged-down copies ofThe Economistthat no-one has study.
Thursday: At the present time Jeremy Corbyn came around. He’s the communist with the beard who vacations in Venezuela. The political counsellor tells me that he’s doubtlessly going to bePMrapidly, after the blond one goes down in flames. No one likes him, and his gather collectively purchased greatest 14% in the contemporary elections, however I bet that doesn’t matter here. I ordered tea and crumpets however he talked about he would have carrot juice.
He lectured me about Labour’s position on the phrases of a alternate deal after Brexit. Sir, I know you talked about that well being-provider provision would possibly perhaps perhaps moreover unbiased soundless be “on the table” in a deal, however if Corbyn’s train is the leisure to head by, I don’t heart of attention on we would possibly perhaps perhaps moreover unbiased soundless touch it. Within the center of a speech about how the workers, united, would by no manner let The US exercise over their National Health Provider, he suddenly collapsed on the carpet, clutching at his heart. Looks there were rumours about his well being, so he went and did a picture-shoot working out in a park with Rihanna’s trainer, and it’s been somewhat noteworthy for him. I called a (non-public) doctor and put him in one other spare room.
Friday: At the present time the queen came around. I asked the staff to raise tea and crumpets, however she gave the crumpets to the corgis, waved away the tea and ordered herself a supersized gin and tonic. We’ll have to assemble the etiquette instruction manual updated. She put her toes up on the couch and talked about that, thanks to our particular relationship, she felt she would possibly perhaps perhaps moreover present heart’s contents to me: the nation used to be going to the dogs, the Scots would gather their independence, Northern Ireland would cease up joining the oldsters in the South and even the Welsh were restless. She didn’t heart of attention on there used to be any point in being monarch of Britain if it wasn’t Spacious from now on.
She used to be create of wondering whether or now not we would possibly perhaps perhaps moreover put aside that complicated episode in 1776, and notion that she would possibly perhaps perhaps moreover gather a gig with us. I talked about it will likely be complicated, what alongside with her being British and all, however she’s a truly sure girl. She tried the line that she had a half of-American gargantuan-grandson, after which talked about she’s purchased a gargantuan put in Scotland you would maybe perhaps moreover unbiased cling. It has room for a big selection of golf programs and he or she’d form you a Thane. Now she appears to cling dozed off. The etiquette e book doesn’t reveal what to manufacture with monarchs who’re loud night breathing on your couch. Might perhaps perhaps you request Ivanka? She’s correct with awkward social scenarios.